The Cake Tree and How It Came To Be
by meruhen
Summary: How the cake tree came to be.


**Title:** The Cake Tree And How It Came To Be

**Fandom:** Prince of Tennis

**Character(s) or Pairing:** Rikkai ensemble

**Rating:** PG

**Warnings:** Crack, dialogue only

**Word Count:** 1000

**Summary:** How the cake tree came to be

**A/N:** This is all dialogue, so it might be hard to follow.

-

"Start digging."

"Digging - what?"

"Question it later; for now, just dig."

"You can't mean to bury -"

"Marui, we should start digging now or else we'll never finish."

"We can't just bury it here and leave it and forget all about it."

"It's easiest."

"But, but - it's so wrong."

"You can bury it and forget about it."

"You want me to FORGET ABOUT IT? Don't you know I can't! I'll never be able to - this will haunt me for the rest of my life."

"It's not that big-"

"It's huge! You don't understand. This... this is murder! And we can't just bury it!"

"Well, we can throw it away. Or burn it."

"Burn it? Throw it away? Are you kidding? Those are even worse than burying it!"

"You can visit the grave every day, if we bury it."

"... You're a genius, Jackal. Almost as big of a genius as I am. Let's start digging."

-

"Oi, Yanagi, you're smart. Do you know any legends about plants growing out of graves without even planting anything?"

"There are Western fairytales that have such legends."

"So it's possible?"

"In fairytales."

"Ha, there's going to be a plant growing out of that grave, I know it."

"Marui, it's not possible in real life. Just fairytales."

"Well damnit, there has to be some basis for truth there."

"And those graves were either the graves of people who died horrible deaths and had to come back for vengeance, or greatly beloved people."

"This is loved! And it died a horribly tragic death."

"Are you sure it was right to bury it?"

"It was the best option! And just you wait, there will be a tree growing from it within a month."

-

"Giving Marui what he wants is hardly like you, Niou."

"Only doing it to throw off Yanagi. He and Yukimura are the only ones I haven't been able to pull an effective prank on, Yagyuu. My reputation is at stake."

"This seems to be a lot of effort to put in for a simple prank. And this is only going to affect one person."

"Two. Marui's going to freak when he sees it. I'll get a good laugh out of it."

"But do you not think this is a lot of effort for one prank?"

"Nah. Anything for a prank."

"Trickster's code of honor?"

"You learn well, Yagyuu. Now if only Akaya would pick up as quickly, I'd be happy."

"Why didn't you bring him out here tonight, instead of me?"

"He can't keep his mouth shut and who said this is the only thing I'm going make you do tonight?"

"You lie convincingly to everyone else, Niou, but it doesn't work with me."

"You're also a lot stronger than the elf is. Help me pick up the tree."

-

"Holy - Jackal! Are you seeing the same thing I am?"

"Uh..."

"DON'T YOU SEE IT? I knew it would happen."

"Make sure it's real."

"It's real! It can't be anything else. HA. I'm going to drag Yanagi out here and show him. Rikkai's data master fails. Rikkai's resident genius wins!"

-

"The ground looks like it has been recently disturbed."

_("Damnit, I never thought about that."_

_"Marui will figure something out."_

_"If he wants to remain known as a genius, he better."_

_"Hush Niou, or else they'll hear.")_

"That's from the tree. Springing forth from the ground like that would disturb the ground."

"This can't be. A tree simply does not grow up overnight."

"How do you know it wasn't there yesterday? Do you check on the grave too?"

"No. I have things to do with my time-"

"Recording your data can't take that much time."

"-and I do not spend my time visiting graves. You would have told us before, if the tree had been growing yesterday."

"Miracles have been known to happen."

"Miracles, but not you keeping your mouth shut, Marui."

"Go to hell, Niou. I can keep it shut better than you can."

"Even when you have gum in your mouth, you're still gossiping away-"

"I'm not the one who opens it for every girl and guy-"

"You little fuck-"

"Niou, Marui, I hardly think this is the time to be arguing. Aren't we supposed to be concentrating on the tree?"

"You're right, Yukimura. It's real Yanagi, and there are no signs that it's been tampered with. It sprang up out of nowhere."

"I think it's been planted by someone. There is no possible way for a tree to just grow sudden."

"You're stumped! Ha. And a spoilsport, not wanting to admit it's possible."

"Do you know what kind of tree it is?"

"That's easy. It's a cake tree."

"Is it going to grow a never-ending supply of cakes for you and your bottomless stomach?"

"A tree can't grow -"

"Yes. It will. And they'll be better than anything you've ever tasted and I won't let you have any."

"My heart is going to be broken."

"As well it should, after you've broken so many."

"It's better to break hearts than have my own broken."

"Selfish bastard."

"Inconsiderate fat-."

"Niou."

"Fine. But I'm only stopping for Yagyuu."

"Pussy-whipped-"

"Marui."

"Hmph. Fine, Yukimura. Besides, this is about the tree. Are you done inspecting it, Yanagi?"

"I'm going to ask a friend to look at it, because I am not aware of what type of tree this is."

"Oh no you're not letting that Seigaku freak get his hands on my tree. He'd take the leaves and the bark and the roots and make some disgusting drink."

"Maybe it'll poison everyone at Seigaku."

"Akaya, we want to play them and win, not win because they defaulted."

"Come on, they deserve it, Yukimura-buchou."

"They deserve defeat more than they deserve being poisoned."

"It'd still be fun to poison them. Why are we staring at the tree?"

"It's the cake tree, Akaya. Don't you know anything?"

"Marui-senpai, you're crazy."

"If you're going to say that, I'm not going to let you have any of the cake it'll grow."

"Marui, cakes do not grow on trees."

"Yes they do Yanagi. I was right the first time, I'll be right this time."

"I think we should uproot the tree and plant it somewhere safe, maybe near the locker room, so we'll always have it."

"What?! Move my tree from the grave? Are you crazy, Yukimura?"

"If it's near the locker room, or maybe in the locker room, you won't have to worry about any of the cakes being stolen."

"Yukimura-buchou's a genius."

"I'll agree with you on that, Akaya. He's almost as good as I am."

"We'll move it tomorrow, then."

-

"Why are we out here again, Niou? You already got Yanagi."

"It was priceless. He was still disturbed when we left! That's why I'm doing this. Anything to see his expression when we arrive tomorrow morning and there are cakes on it."


End file.
